Last night, as I was taking care of a baby and a sick toddler, I had an idea for Mike Rowe. You know, the guy from the tv show Dirty Jobs. At the end of every episode, he asks for ideas for more dirty jobs. Well Mike, I've got one for you. Have you ever sat in a bathtub filled with water, puke and poop while being thrown up on and having milk leaking all over your chest?
It all started as I was getting ready for class last night. I picked my little June Bug up to give her a kiss, and she puked down my back. The look she gave me as I washed her face, then handed her to Daddy so I could get changed...that look could have melted a heart of stone. She had a perfect mix of sadness, patheticness, and indignation. And I had to leave even though I heard her crying "mom, no. No. Mommy, mooooo-meeeeeee" It almost broke my S. Well, my teacher is a mom, and a grandma. When I walked in, she asked what was wrong, and as soon I got out the words "daughter" and "sick" she sent me home.
A three hour lecture would have been more fun.
As soon as I got home, I took June Bug from my husband and she started singing a little song. Heart=melted. She cried pitifully when I left her for any length of time; even to go to the bathroom. You know that, "oh why have you forsaken me? I'm dying over here and you're running off? Mommy, don't leave me" type of cry? That's what she does when she's sick.
I know some kids hate water and taking a bath, but mine love it. I worry that one day they'll grow gills and fins and really never come out. So, with June Bug feeling so miserable, I ran a cool bubble bath for her and grabbed a bowl in case she needed to throw up again. Of course, with her being so clingy I couldn't just let her sit in the tub and kneel down next to it, I had to climb in as well and hold her. Then, when I realized there was a need, a great need, for the bowl, I also remembered that my kids think that the bowl/buck is what is making them sick. So they push it away, thinking they won't throw up since they got rid of it. Turns out that doesn't actually work, and last night June Bug ended up puking all over the bathtub and me, while I chased her head with the bowl. My poor little girl was feeling miserable and betrayed at that point, after all, I was making her sick by bringing the evil puke bucket near her, but I'm supposed to love her. Meanwhile, her tummy was upset and she had the usual *ahem* digestive distress that accompanies tummy bugs. Without going into too much detail, let's just say it was a very big, VERY GROSS, mess in that tub.
It was a very long night. Stink Bug was jealous of all the attention June Bug was getting, June Bug was determined to thow up anywhere but the bowl, and the baby didn't really care what was going on, he just wanted me to feed him for hours on end (gotta love a growth spurt). Thank goodness for my husband. He fed the boys, cleaned up the messes on the floor, and snuggled a very angry little girl while I took a shower.
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Pretend Famine
Recently my almost 4 year old Stink Bug has become quite the meal tracker. When I pick him up from preschool, he tells me that he didn't have breakfast, but he had a snack, and it's lunchtime. And tell him he did too have breakfast! But it always sound suspicious, like I'm trying to hide the fact that I don't actually feed him.
In addition to his meal tracking, Stink Bug has also been doing a lot more imaginary/pretend play. It's really cute, and I love to hear about the baby doll who had to get tied up because the cops thought she was a monster, but she was really just a mommy. Though I have to be honest, it made me a little sad that the mommy was so easily confused with a monster :'( In case you were wondering, the baby doll who wasn't-a-monster,-just-a-mommy was not untied when the cop realized his mistake. That took June Bug waking up from her nap, seeing her favorite baby doll tied up and shrieking in protest.
Hmm, I seem to have strayed a bit off topic here. Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, so recently my little stinker has combined these two games. Today, as we were leaving physical therapy, he announced that he had told his therapist, Ms. Awesome, that he didn't eat breakfast. Then he started cackling madly and said he was just pretending, and he tricked her. All of a sudden I read deeper meaning into the looks I was getting when I picked him up from school. With a sinking feeling I asked if he tricks anyone else. Sure enough, every day for the past week(!!!) he has been telling his teacher that he doesn't eat breakfast and that I forget to give him lunch. I don't know if I'll be able to look her in the eye tomorrow.
In addition to his meal tracking, Stink Bug has also been doing a lot more imaginary/pretend play. It's really cute, and I love to hear about the baby doll who had to get tied up because the cops thought she was a monster, but she was really just a mommy. Though I have to be honest, it made me a little sad that the mommy was so easily confused with a monster :'( In case you were wondering, the baby doll who wasn't-a-monster,-just-a-mommy was not untied when the cop realized his mistake. That took June Bug waking up from her nap, seeing her favorite baby doll tied up and shrieking in protest.
Hmm, I seem to have strayed a bit off topic here. Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, so recently my little stinker has combined these two games. Today, as we were leaving physical therapy, he announced that he had told his therapist, Ms. Awesome, that he didn't eat breakfast. Then he started cackling madly and said he was just pretending, and he tricked her. All of a sudden I read deeper meaning into the looks I was getting when I picked him up from school. With a sinking feeling I asked if he tricks anyone else. Sure enough, every day for the past week(!!!) he has been telling his teacher that he doesn't eat breakfast and that I forget to give him lunch. I don't know if I'll be able to look her in the eye tomorrow.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
running a mah-dodge parlor
Stink Bug saw Daddy giving Mommy a back rub one day. I love my husband's back rubs. He gets out the Jergens, (yeah, we're high rollers) rubs it into my back, and gets rid of about 46% of my tension and knots. Ever since then, my little stinker will occasionally come up to me, Jergens in hand, and ask in his 'cute' voice "Mommy, could you please give me a mah-dodge? I'm sooooo stressed out." The first time it happened I laughed. How stinkin' cute! "Mah-dodge" Of course I gave him a massage. After all, he has such a tiny back, it wouldn't take long, right? Well, it doesn't take too long, but those 15 minutes really start to add up when he's asking for the third or fourth time since lunch.
As usual in my monkey-see-monkey-do household, June Bug has begun copying big brother. She follows me around the house, bottle of lotion in hand, repeating "Momma, mahs. Mahs. Momma, MAHS. Peeeese."
When did I sign up to run a massage parlor? And why don't I get mah-dodges anymore?
As usual in my monkey-see-monkey-do household, June Bug has begun copying big brother. She follows me around the house, bottle of lotion in hand, repeating "Momma, mahs. Mahs. Momma, MAHS. Peeeese."
When did I sign up to run a massage parlor? And why don't I get mah-dodges anymore?
in the beginning
I'll start by stating the obvious. I am not perfect. In fact, Perfect and I aren't even in the same zip code. I do my best every day, but today's best might be last week's worst (and vice versa).
I am a loving mommy to 3 little monkeys who are usually jumping on the bed, falling off and bumping their heads. Ok, maybe the baby isn't quite jumping yet. But he squirms and he almost fell out of the swing. So that counts, right? Or does it just make me a bad mom?
They all drive me crazy in their own ways. Stink Bug was playing with a totally awesome sensory activity I dreamed up for him. Water Beads. Have you heard of them? Water beads rock...but I'm getting off topic here. He had the water beads out, but was making a huge mess. And instead of cleaning up the mess like I asked him to, he dumped the whole container out and ground them into the carpet. I blew my stack. I was seeing red. I was trying to feed the baby, do my schoolwork, clean the living room and get dinner going and he decides he's going to make a gigantic mess that has to be dealt with NOW before June Bug or the dog try to eat the stuff. I snapped at him to 'GET TO YOUR ROOM UNTIL DADDY GETS HOME!!!' I was ready to fall apart.
Twenty minutes later the mess was gone, I was consoling June Bug and assuring her that the vacuum cleaner wasn't a demon summoned to eat her soul, while feeding and burping the baby. Stink Bug walked up to me with a photo in hand and asked "Do you love me mommy? I brought you a picture" And do you know what that photo was of? It was taken when I was in about my 16th hour of labor, waiting for my stubborn little Stinker to make his way into this world. Dang that kid is good. I saw it and got all weepy and emotional (blasted hormones are still out of whack). I remembered that Stink Bug was literally the answer to a prayer. Actually months of prayers. And just like that I wasn't seeing red anymore. Pink maybe, but not red. He was still in trouble, but at that point it was more of a formality than anything else.
June Bug is a headstrong toddler who has recently discovered necklaces, hairbows, and nail polish. Thanks Mom. June Bug is in a dumping phase. And she has discovered the phrase Uh-oh. Uh-oh used to mean that she dropped something accidentally. Now she dumps a full glass of water, says "Uh-oh" and asks for more water for round 2.
Baby is an eating machine. You know how people say that a person has a hollow leg when they eat and eat and eat? Well, I think I got a hollow baby. I don't know where he puts it all, I just know I spend about 28 hours a day breastfeeding this insatiable milk fiend.
And that's my family. I'm looking forward to sharing our lives and our day to day craziness, and the stuff I can't put on facebook because I'm pretending to be perfect ;)
I am a loving mommy to 3 little monkeys who are usually jumping on the bed, falling off and bumping their heads. Ok, maybe the baby isn't quite jumping yet. But he squirms and he almost fell out of the swing. So that counts, right? Or does it just make me a bad mom?
They all drive me crazy in their own ways. Stink Bug was playing with a totally awesome sensory activity I dreamed up for him. Water Beads. Have you heard of them? Water beads rock...but I'm getting off topic here. He had the water beads out, but was making a huge mess. And instead of cleaning up the mess like I asked him to, he dumped the whole container out and ground them into the carpet. I blew my stack. I was seeing red. I was trying to feed the baby, do my schoolwork, clean the living room and get dinner going and he decides he's going to make a gigantic mess that has to be dealt with NOW before June Bug or the dog try to eat the stuff. I snapped at him to 'GET TO YOUR ROOM UNTIL DADDY GETS HOME!!!' I was ready to fall apart.
Twenty minutes later the mess was gone, I was consoling June Bug and assuring her that the vacuum cleaner wasn't a demon summoned to eat her soul, while feeding and burping the baby. Stink Bug walked up to me with a photo in hand and asked "Do you love me mommy? I brought you a picture" And do you know what that photo was of? It was taken when I was in about my 16th hour of labor, waiting for my stubborn little Stinker to make his way into this world. Dang that kid is good. I saw it and got all weepy and emotional (blasted hormones are still out of whack). I remembered that Stink Bug was literally the answer to a prayer. Actually months of prayers. And just like that I wasn't seeing red anymore. Pink maybe, but not red. He was still in trouble, but at that point it was more of a formality than anything else.
June Bug is a headstrong toddler who has recently discovered necklaces, hairbows, and nail polish. Thanks Mom. June Bug is in a dumping phase. And she has discovered the phrase Uh-oh. Uh-oh used to mean that she dropped something accidentally. Now she dumps a full glass of water, says "Uh-oh" and asks for more water for round 2.
Baby is an eating machine. You know how people say that a person has a hollow leg when they eat and eat and eat? Well, I think I got a hollow baby. I don't know where he puts it all, I just know I spend about 28 hours a day breastfeeding this insatiable milk fiend.
And that's my family. I'm looking forward to sharing our lives and our day to day craziness, and the stuff I can't put on facebook because I'm pretending to be perfect ;)
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